Why? *Update*
Friday night we attended my cousin's wedding. The actual ceremony was at 3 pm – right when Logan is usually napping. Mike & I had made the decision earlier in the week that we would probably not be going to the ceremony and instead go to the reception and dance. We thought this way Logan would be able to take a nap and we would get to enjoy the dinner and dance with our munchkin being in a good mood. We felt that taking him to the ceremony where he would most likely be disruptive would NOT be a good idea.
Apparently we made the wrong choice.
After the dance had begun my Aunt (cousin's Mother) felt the need to come over and ask why we weren't at the wedding. I told her my reasoning and said I had even mentioned it to my Mom, saying that I felt bad about having to miss it but just thought it made more sense. She then had the audacity to say, "You're a big girl Tanya. You know right from wrong." WHAT??? Yeah, and to me "wrong" would be taking a fussy 2 year old to a wedding ceremony. She said this in front of me, Mike, Taylor, my Aunt Shelia, and Al (Shelia's boyfriend). We all went completely silent – I think Taylor's eyes almost popped out of his head. We were stunned!! (Although we shouldn't have been since she likes to pull this crap all.the.time) And it was quite convenient how she made this statement while my Mom & Dad were out on the dance floor. Oh, and want to know the real kicker?? Her own brother and brother-in-law didn't make it to any part of the wedding, yet they apparently had "clearance" because it's a busy time of year for them and it's hard to get away. What.Ever!
There have been three distinctive times that she has felt the need to be this rude to me. (I'll spare you the details because this post would last for PAGES.) I don't understand it – does this make her feel better?? When you're around her she's always b*@ching about someone in her family. And everyone just lets it slide. I'm not going to do that anymore. She is SO lucky that I just turned my back after she made that comment and didn't say one of the million things that were flying through my head.
After she moved away from where we were sitting Mike & I come to find out that she had called Shelia gullible because she watched Logan while I was in Cannon Beach. Why is someone gullible if they want to spend time with their nephew? I guess she also told Shelia "good luck sleeping with him staying at your place". How the hell does she know how Logan sleeps – she's never been around him long enough to know. We've been back in ND (in the same town as her) for 6 months now and I think I've seen her three times.
Do you think I was wrong by missing the wedding? I'm curious to find out because I know for a fact she reads this blog and I'm sure she'll be very interested to know your opinions. I think this is the only time in the two years since I've been blogging that I've complained about a family member. Who knows, maybe this will be an eye-opener for her. Either that or I'll be getting a phone call *rolling eyes*
On a happier note here is my cousin Josh and new bride Nichole
I just wanted to add a point that Jeri had mentioned in her comment. Yes, they had a videographer and I'm sure you would have been able to hear him on the tape. Because, as I've said before, the kid talks - ALOT!! But see that would have been the complaint if we had come to the wedding - Logan can be heard on the tape. There is no pleasing her.
posted by Tanya @ 9:17 AM
7 Comments:
Long time - no comment... but I've been reading (as well as slacking on my own blog)...
1st of all, I want to say that I am so happy you were able to go to Cannon Beach and it looks like you had a great time. :)
2nd, I've been in your shoes and I also missed a wedding because it fell right at Jack's nap time. I know my son and I know that when he's off schedule, his whole day is off.. NO THANKS! Even IF the wedding wasn't over nap, I'm not sure I would have wanted to sit with a toddler through the whole ceremony. I would have missed the whole thing anyway just trying to keep the little one entertained!
Sorry family stuff gets so frustrating sometimes. Ready to come back to Seattle? ;)
In my opinion, you made absolutely the right choice. Some brides and grooms go so far as to request adults only at their ceremonies because of the distraction of restless little ones.
And imagine what it might have done to any wedding video to have a fussing toddler in the background!
To use the same wording - yes, you are a big girl. And as such, you get to choose to do what you think is right - and not let others impose their standards and obligations upon you.
I think you made a sensible and considerate choice - good for you! :)
Ha! sounds a little like some of my family! I think you made the right decision. Not only would it have disruptive, but much more stressful for you, Mike, and LOGAN. Toddlers need that naptime! To me it sounds like she thinks its okay to talk about people behind their backs because that's what people expect from her. I hope she does read this and learn it's NOT OKAY, EVER!! There are some members of my family I no longer talk to except about the weather on occassion for that very reason and we are all missing out on so much!
Anyway, enough of my ranting! Congrats to the newlyweds!
YOU WERE IN THE RIGHT. She needs to be a big girl and stay out of your personal decisions as a parent and stop being a meddling busy body. I know that somehow that must be working for her, but you do know what is best for your family. EGADS, people like her make me glad I actually get along well with most of mine. I am not sure I would have handled it with as much grace as you!
Good on you Tanya if you just let it slide shell keep doing it
and your Logans Mum you do what you think best
its up to you and Mike what happens with your child no one else
You made the right decision. I ended up taking my son who was 2 years 3 months to my cousins wedding last summer. (We were out of town with no babysitters and hubby was in the wedding.) We lasted about 5 minutes and had to sneak out the back. I brought silent toys and had talked to him about it. It didn't matter he was talking outloud, standing up in the pews, wanting to bother the people in front of us, and wanting to go and play with the flower girl and ring bearer. People were turning around in the pews to look at us. It was embarassing. We spent the remainder of the wedding playing in the van. I wish we would have just stayed at the hotel.
I enjoy your blog.
You and Mike sound like Jonathan and me... I go right on and do what I want to anyway, ha ha ha!!
Having a boy of the same age, I'M ALL FOR SKIPPING THE WEDDING! That said, I think your aunt just needs to see your intent... You were trying to take care of your son, and you were being what you thought was thoughtful towards the other guests. If she loves you and understands your intention was well, then this'll all blow over.
It's horribly embarassing to have a wiggly toddler at something like a wedding... and it disturbs guests.
I hope everything does blow over, by the way! Life's too short to hold grudges one way or the other. :)
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